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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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I had been in a relationship with a man for 1 1/2 years we

Resolved Question:

I had been in a relationship with a man for 1 1/2 years we split we had been off and on since Nov. Jan it was over.
We had not completely stopped all communication during the split. Text,calls. We both do miss each other I think He has never been married and had asked me to marry him during our time together I have not dated anyone since the split he has. I asked for a get together,he decided to see me for the first time but asked first if I had been seeing anyone. We seen each other this past wkend for the first time since Jan, one thing led to another and we slept together, he called the next day. How do I find out where I stand. Mix messaging is there hope? I am giving him his space I do not want to come across as needed. He knows I am capable of doing it on my own, He didn't have a good up bringing, i brought out the best in him he said he was always waiting for the carpet to be pulled out from under him. He is a workolic done well for himself. Did the weekend mean anything?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
It sounds as if you both still care about each other and that you are willing to make great sacrifices for this relationship such as selling your house and leaving your job. Your friend knows this as well as how you feel about him based on what you have written. Now I think its best to give him a little time and space to think about everything including the intimate night that you spent together . After you have given him some time, then you could ask him how he feels about the offers you have made him and then discuss it thoroughly so that you both know where you stand with each other.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.


I hear what you are saying, I asked him on Friday if he was happier without me in his life his reply Better then quetioning loyality. You were my life but you proved me wrong. So is this not black and white he doesn't want me in his life? True meaning for why he broke it off with me is I had to contact with my ex. and he had asked me not to talk to him I disrespected him he claims if I wanted to be with him I would have stop talking to my ex.

Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Based on what you have written, it sounds as if he is still angry and hurt and does not want you to be in his life at the moment which is a normal response for a person who has been hurt by someone close to him. However, this may change in time, it is obvious by his response to you that he has not had enough time to heal from the hurt and therefore is pushing you away. He may or may not change his mind down the road, however, it is best to take a break from bringing this matter up with him at the moment and to let him have his space to continue to heal. When you notice that his attitude is not short and cold with you, then you could bring this subject up again, but not until then or else you will continue to damage any possibility of the two of you getting back together down the road. This is my honest opinion. Please let me know if you have any other questions and if you are satisfied with the answers I provided last week and this week, please click on the accept button.

Edited by Angela (M. A. in Community Psy.) on 4/13/2010 at 4:48 PM EST
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