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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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My boyfriend of a year has left me because he caught me emailing

Customer Question

My boyfriend of a year has left me because he caught me emailing my ex. This is the second time I have kept a situation where it involves my ex from my boyfriend. My ex is also the father of my first son. In the email he read me telling my ex that i missed him and that i wished he could of been for me and even seid "ditto" when my ex said he loved me. I do not love my ex or even miss him. I honestly regret entertaining his emails.I am deeply in love with my boyfriend and I would do anything to get him back. We were best friends and we have a baby together. He says he loves me and I hurt him deeply and I lost his trust. He has lost his faith in us. He will not try to fix the relationship or even give it a second try. The first time I lied to him was about my ex and it was because i went to a hotel to discuss my son with my ex. Nothing happened but he doesn't believe that. I try to show him how sorry I am but he wont want to see me or go out as friends. He is already trying to meet women and go out after 2 weeks.  He even moved a roomate in what used to be my sons old room. His mind is set that he will not give me another chance even if he says he loves me very much. He thinks I'm a liar and he tells me he doesnt want to be with me. He says he doesn't want to be around me because he still loves me and he knows im not the person for him. Should I give up? He has given up on our family and wont even try to work it out for our daughter. Should I move on? Will he ever find out I'm the person for him and trust me again? What should I do? He means the world to me. I tried writing to him and telling him im sorry over and over again. He even knows I stopped talking to my ex but he doesnt care because he says its to late.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
I am sorry for this difficult time you are having. I would recommend giving your ex some time and space because he has been deeply hurt and he knows that you love him. After some time has passed, then you could try and sit down to talk to him again and ask him what he needs from you in order to try to earn his trust again? He told you that he loves you very much even after being deeply hurt, then that is at the very least a positive sign. Therefore, give him some space and time before bringing up the subject again. Also, if going to counseling together is an option you could discuss this with him when the two of you talk again after he has had some time to cool off and to heal.