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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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im 25 years of age and have been with my partner for 8 years

Customer Question

im 25 years of age and have been with my partner for 8 years since the start she has not had a job, i have worked since leaving school. 3 years into the relationship we had our first child, she got social security payments and i continued to work and support the three of us.. a few more years passed and we had moved to the country for work purposes and we had our second child, there have been many chances for her to work but she neglected to take them. she had been abused as a child and we have been in and out of court which i naturally paid all expenses and was supportive as much as i could be. i pay for rent food gas electricity fuel water etc. i get threatened by her leaving when things dont go her way. im trying to fix a car for her so things might be easier for her but its still not good enough and now she is threatening to leave because i denied her $7000+ for cosmetic surgery. i believe that i am really trying to be a good provider but the bar is set to high. am i in the wrong?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Based on what you have written, you certainly have been an excellent and patient provider. Your partner is the one who is wrong for selfishly exploiting your kindness and generosity especially since she has had employment opportunities and didn't take them. Also, to threaten to leave someone because you will not give her $ for cosmetic surgery is beyond selfish and deplorable on her part. Please seriously consider if you want to remain in a relationship where your partner selfishly exploits you and burdens you without regard for your needs (mentally, emotionally, financially, and so forth). Please know that you deserve a partner who will value and respect you as well as give 110% as you have been doing in this relationship.

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