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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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my boyfriend and I are expecting twins in a couple of months.

Resolved Question:

my boyfriend and I are expecting twins in a couple of months. we had made plans for me to move in with him at the end of this month so he could be there for the birth. everything was fine up until three weeks ago when everything stopped. He used to call me all the time, leave messages on my computer saying that he loves me misses me and all that. He barely calls me doesnt say he loves me anymore and this last time I visited him it was like i was invisable. the first day was fine, he gave me a back massage but everyday after that it was like he didnt even want to touch me. is it me? we barely talk now. his family says he is excited about the babies and talks about me to them but he doesnt seem excited when ever i talk to him about them, he avoids the question. what d i do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello Broken,
I think the best thing to do is to sit down with him and discuss this matter. Obviously, something is going on with him and you have a right to know what it is. You could tell him that you need to talk to him especially since the babies are soon due. Telling him before you actually talk to him will enable him to know not only that you will talk to him but also that you are serious about talking to him. If he wants to know what it is about tell him you would rather explain in person and then schedule a time to talk. Try to schedule your conversation with him at a time when the both of you can be alone and undisturbed (-preferably away from your homes and in a public place such as a park or nice restaurant for example). Before calling him decide on a few places where you could meet and talk and then when you call him you can both decide which of the places you will meet at. Also, think about how you want to ask him about the items you mentioned above and then do it when you talk to him and hold him accountable for answering your questions.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Well it's not that easy to meet with him. we live an hour and a half away and we have had a talk but its mostly the fact that he feels that Ihe isnt the one that will make me happy and that he's scared that he wont be able to provide.he still wants to be with me because he wants me to live with him. could he just be scared? afraid to let me down? I dont see how all this time he hasnt changed how he felt and then within the last three weelks he shuts down.
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello Broken,
Talking about sensitive issues is never easy, however, based upon what you have now written, it certainly sounds like he is a little scared and nervous about you and his children which will soon be delivered; parenthood is a huge responsibility. It is perfectly normal to feel scared and nervous about such a huge responsibility and each person deals with feeling scared and nervous in a different manner. It sounds like his manner is to temporarily shut down due to the impending birth of your children. However, I think he will certainly open up again, especially when your children are born. Also, since he has shared his concerns with you already, continue to reassure him that you will both get through everything together and with each other's help; discuss possible options that will help move both of you past his fears.
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