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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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My wife is very attractive. She has added a number of guys

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My wife is very attractive. She has added a number of guys on her facebook page (firefighters and cops mostly) and has handed her cell phone to two of them> both text her on and off, she has mentioned this to me before and I brshed it off. I know where she is 90 % of the time and she is not cheating yet I feel like this is very dangerous terretory. She protects her cell phone big time yet its under my name. I guess what i am asking is that is it normal for a woman to seek affection and compliments from other people including guys to boost her moral ? If so why do I feel a bit betrayed ?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

The common use of social networking sites like Facebook has added a new dimensions to relationships and our need to trust one another when it comes to adding "friends." I'd say the Facebook friendships are likely harmless -- Those sites are mostly just used as a way to keep up with what's going on in the lives of friends past and present without really ever connecting the way we do in person.

The texting is a little more personal. If it makes you uncomfortable, be honest with her about this. Explain that you trust her completely, but the fact that she's given her cell number to a few guys has made you feel a little insecure and hurt (a very normal response on your part). Receiving affection and compliments from anyone is flattering, but seeking it consistently from other men may be something you should discuss with her. That may not be what she's doing here and perhaps she has a good reason for wanting to have that kind of contact with these friends. Regardless, it's important that you tell her what it is you're feeling and what you want. Ask what she needs as well -- Respecting her wishes will make her more likely to respect yours and demonstrate your ability to compromise on things such as this.
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