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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Ask Jennifer. I sent tons of texts because she would not

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Ask Jennifer. I sent tons of texts because she would not answer the phone. She said she had to wake up at five for work. But its ok at 9pm to 11pm to tell me she needs a break. It is clear she still wants to see me. Needs this weekend off. I just realized that every week she has a meltdown like this. So my friends and I have come to the conclusion that because she is starting a new job Monday that she is panicing like she did when the attys told her to lie low and she dumped me then. But the thing is I never gave up my Match membership because I knew it was comming. I realized through her that I want a stable relationship with a single girl. I want to be a priority. With this girl I was 10th on the list but number 1 to get dumped. So here is my question. I know she will text me tomorrow. If she wakes up and realizes what she did is not what she wanted to do how should i handle it? I am upset. Feel used and I think that she doesnt love me just the idea of me. Update she never texed me back. feel I meant nothing to her. All I know is I am wondering if she really meant what she said. Do you think she will sooner or later make contact? I say to myself thank goodness I was not with her for 6 monthes. Just need to know how to deal with my emotions and get her out of my head.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
The fact that you never gave up your Match account certainly says something about how confident you were in this relationship having a future. She could very well have panicked because of the anxiety over starting her new job, but wouldn't it have been nice is she'd turned to you for support to get through it instead of pushing you away yet again? This is another red flag for me. I'm sure she does love you. However, she's not in a place where she can give what you deserve in a relationship. If she calls, simply tell her you love her too much to make this process more difficult then it has to be. Perhaps in time it will work, but for now you both need to spend some time finding out who you are and what you want in your future. You could offer friendship in the meantime, but I'd suggest you have some time apart first to avoid more confusion.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Hi Jennifer. I edited the additional question. She finally got back to me. Said she is sorry for hurting me and she wants to be friends. I now have my closure. Deep down I knew this was not going to last. She needs to find herself. I really dont think that there would have been a future because shes not mentally ready. thanks for all your help. I will never date a woman in the process of a divorce again.

Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
I'm glad to hear you found some closure... And here I was ready to tell you'd she'd likely contact you soon (based on past behaviors). She beat me to the answer!

I do hope that what you take from this relationship (in addition to the complications an impending divorce can bring) is how natural and real it felt to have things move slowly as opposed to falling hard and fast only to find that it doesn't work. We learn something from all of our relationships, whether it be specific characteristics we do / don't want in the future, dynamics we liked, rules for spending time with friends, etc. This one was worthwhile in that respect.

Please let me know if I can be of any assistance in the future. Take care!
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