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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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My husband is chatting and e-mailing his former girlfriend

Resolved Question:

My husband is chatting and e-mailing his former girlfriend online. I don't have an access to
his passwords; he's been using facebook, friendster,, and belnet.
How can I trace all of his activities in the internet?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

It sounds as though there's no need for you to trace his activities if you already know he's engaging in this behavior.

You have a trust issue here. A frank discussion about what you need from him and what it will take to be able to trust him is in order. Tracing his online activities will only make this situation worse by putting you in a parental role. If he wants to continue communicating with his ex, he'll find another way regardless.

Set some criteria for what you want from him if he's to earn your trust back. More importantly, explain why this behavior is hurtful to you and why you think your relationship with him is important enough to address this issue. Successful relationships are based upon mutual respect, honesty, trust, and open communication. If this situation continues or gets worse, it may be time to look into marital counseling to find guidance in reaching your goals as a couple together.
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