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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Ask Jennifer. Hi Jennifer. Thanks for your answer. I actually

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Ask Jennifer. Hi Jennifer. Thanks for your answer. I actually went back to reread you first answer about diving in head first. I will admit that this relationship is definitely putting me in the patience zone. When you said I may get bored or just lose interest is that because I may not be getting what I could out of all this right now? But heres the thing. In the past I would jump right in and they did not last either. I think that this time around its the first relationship that has progressed slowly. Oh and btw she trusts me but not my friends. This one is going to be hard to overcome with her. She feels that now that we are a couple unofficially of coarse that there is no need to go to those places. I will have a talk with her about that. I do believe it also because she is very needy and needs a lot of attention and affection because she has not received it from her parents or her ex. I definitely think that all the weight from this is on my shoulders.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Getting bored or losing interest are merely possibility if you focus on the wait instead of the relationship itself. Not because you're not getting what you want, but because you're not used to moving slowly. I am glad you realize that the times you've moved quickly in the past didn't necessarily work out. That will help you to focus on the relationship itself instead of the wait.

I'm glad she trusts you -- Remind her that she's not dating your friends. If you really want to continue to go to those places on occasion, it's worth a discussion with her. Explain to her that the purpose for going is to be with your friends -- not to pursue other women. What would it take for her to be comfortable with you going out with friends? Some ideas might be a phone call at the end of the night, a limit to the number of times / month you go out with them, or offering to have them over instead of going out more often (poker night, watch a game, etc.) to maintain those friendships.

Her need for attention and affection is a non-issue if it's something you enjoy giving her. Are you worried she's not able to give it back at this point with everything going on? What would make this relationship feel more balanced in that sense??
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