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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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I am in a relationship with a women who grew up with an alcoholic

Customer Question

I am in a relationship with a women who grew up with an alcoholic father who physically abused her father. What should I look out for? Is this a relationship doomed for failure?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello G,
Your relationship is not doomed for failure as long as you both are willing to work on it. Based on your girlfriend's past, I recommend scheduling a time with your her when the two of you can speak to one another in a calm, peaceful, and non-distracting environment. Choose a place to talk that you know makes you both feel peaceful and mellow. During this uninterrupted time, calmly explain to your girlfriend that because you care about her you would like to know if there are any issues in your relationship that she wants to address. Listen to her responses and then respond to her from your heart in a respectful and loving manner as you continue the dialog and discuss any and all concerns that you have for her well being based upon her past abuse. Communication and honesty are vital for relationships to continue in a healthy and positive manner. As a result, both of you need to feel comfortable and safe in sharing with one another and both of you need to be willing to discuss and work on your concerns. I suggest this method because the list of things to look for literally goes from A to Z, (- she could have a hard time trusting you, she could have a hard time being intimate, she could have a really short fuse, and etc.) so it's best to have a honest conversation with her.