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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1525
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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My BF cant be honest with his best buddy about me. Buddy

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My BF can't be honest with his best buddy about me. Buddy knows about me, we have met, and knows my BF and I are living together. But BF cannot bring himself to call me when he is out with Buddy. He lies to Buddy about what he is doing so as not to tell him we are doing something together. I have heard Buddy brow-beat him one time and guilt-trip him another time. We have had a dozen arguments about this and it is hurting our relationship. BF sees this but can't change....I don't want to see my BF as someone else's "doormat" for lack of a more colorful expression.

So 1. why can't BF be honest about me and our relationship? and 2. why does he let Buddy beat him up?

ps BF has a stereotypically invasive controlling Italian mom.
Your boyfriend is not assertive in life and he lets everyone else run his show. He does not stand up to people in life. It probably comes from his overbearing mother. He needs to learn assertive communication techniques instead of being passive in life. This is a very bad problem that will not change until he takes the steps to be more assertive. If he can't get this thing under control then he might need to go to therapy and let a therapist help him be more assertive. My guess is that he continues to let his mother run his life. If he does not straighten up then this will continue to affect your relationship.
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