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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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I am finding that living with my newly sober boyfriend is more

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I am finding that living with my newly sober boyfriend is more stressful than I imagined. He has been physically ill ever since treatment - attending meetings sporadically. At this time he is hospitalized for dehydration and I welcome the relief. I think that we need to be apart until he is more stable in the program. Am I being too cruel too soon???
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello Senah,
You are not being cruel, you are simply being human. What I would like for you to think about and even make of list of is the following: list the pros and cons to you staying with him through this phase that he is going through. Next, once you have your list of pros and cons, think about how each item on both sides of the list will affect you (mentally, emotionally, physically, and etc.) and wether or not it hinders or harms you (mentally, emotionally, physically, and etc.). Then determine which is greater, the pros or the cons for staying. The reason I suggest this is because it will enable you to think more deeply about the issues especially now while you have some alone time. If you decide to leave or to stay after doing the list, I think you will have greater peace about whatever action you take do to going through this process. If you decide to stay, you could search for a support group in your area that is geared toward people such as you who loves recovering alcoholics. If you decide to stay, you could also tell him that he will need to attend his meetings on a regular basis as well as part of your requirements to stay in the relationship.
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