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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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I am married to my husband for 5 yrs. We have a 2 yrs old and

Customer Question

I am married to my husband for 5 yrs. We have a 2 yrs old and i am 7 months pregnant. The problem is since day one he NEVER made the first move. It is always me who initiate sex. I never seen a man that doesnt care about sex that much. Now with our busy life i think the last time we had sex was when i got pregnant really. If I do initiate things will happen but othewise we can go without that long. Last night I was kinda initiating but then at the same time i got tired just to thing about getting on " top" with all my preg i decided just to " touch his parts" and he pretty much pushed my hands away saying he couldnt sleep like that. WTF??? I never had " my six sense" telling me that he might be cheating , and i am pretty neurotic about the subject but w him i am at easy. We had numerous conversations about it. I even told him i wanted a divorce once, all the time he says he is going to work on it to make it better. It just never changed. He is so cold about sex.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Hi Ip,

Was it ever any different for him? Any chance that he's homosexual?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
No!! He is not homosexual. If I think about it , it has been always like this. However before we used to have more sex bc i used to initiate, now i am tired of initiating all the time. So we dont have sex. We are going though alot of issues though, we are doing bankcruptcy and having finacial difficulties, but i know how to separete our financial life from our emotional life. He blames on his " sleep" he has a deviated nose which make him snore alot at night so he says bc of lack of sleep he cant peform. For me is just excuses.I couldnt barelly sleep last night thinking about it. It is my second marriage and if i didnt have any kids i would be 100% divorced by now. The first divorced was easir bc i didnt have i even regret being pregnant. He is a great father but he is not there for me sexually at all. He massage me daily caress me daily do whatever i ask him........but sex sux.I am to a point that i could easly sleep w somebody else that i know, but i think i would never forgive myself. Like i said i never had this prob before w any other man
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Hi lp,

My first thought is wondering if he's depressed and it's killed his sex drive. If he's slightly depressed, has the stress of bankruptcy, and lack of sleep, he's got alot working against him. But I suspect it goes beyond that. I think it's time for you to go to couple's counseling and confront the problem with a 3rd party running the show. He may have all these problems, but I don't hear you telling me that he's dedicated to fixing them so he can want sex again.
I recommend that he see a doctor to be evaluated for depression and medication, and couples counseling to address the sex issue.

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