It sounds like you've got good boundaries, and you're going to need them. Of course he's lying about why he couldn't contact you during the 4.5 hours. People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. When you know you're on the hot seat, you work hard to make sure your actions are transparent - for as long as you want to be transparent. He hid out and did something he doesn't want you to know about. If it was important for him to tell his family not to contact the GF, he would have. He didn't. We all know this.
At this point, you have to look at the facts and what is available to you. Do you have information on alcoholism? Now is the time to start reading about that. It's also good to know that addicts will switch addictions when one is getting them into too much trouble - he may have been dabbling in the lust and intrigue component of sexual addiction.
1. Pat yourself on the back for leaving the hotel room. Good move on your part...for YOU.
2. Learn about addictions and depression - they're two separate issues that interact with one another, but neither one causes the other. He's not alcoholic because he's depressed.
3. Keep seeing the counselor for yourself. It'll help you to set boundaries and not be manipulated.
4. Trust your gut. Above all else, trust your gut.
5. I don't think you're a candidate for this lie, but just in case...an email affair is an affair. It counts.
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