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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  n/a
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my boyfriend says he feels caged in... ive caged myself in

Resolved Question:

my boyfriend says he feels caged in..."i've caged myself in" "i feel like property"were his exact words - what does this all mean
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello Jaguest,
Based upon what you have written it sounds as if your boyfriend is feeling trapped and as if he has no control in your relationship. He also sounds as if he is very frustrated. I recommend scheduling a time with your boyfriend when the two of you can speak to one another in a calm, peaceful, and non-distracting environment. Perhaps you could choose a place to talk that you know makes you both feel peaceful and mellow. During this uninterrupted time, calmly explain to your boyfriend your concerns about his comments. Also, let him know that you want him to feel happy and healthy in your relationship and not to feel caged in or like property. Explain to him that in order for both of you to move beyond these concerns you both must be willing to talk about it so that you both can decide how to move past this especially since you love him very much. Let him give you specific examples of what makes him feel like property and as if he is caged in and discuss it and come up with solutions that you both agree to. As you share with him do so in a non-judgmental and calm manner in order for your boyfriend to feel comfortable and able to honestly reply to your concerns. Listen to his responses and then respond to him from your heart in a respectful and loving manner as you continue the dialog. Communication and honesty are vital for relationships to continue in a healthy and positive manner. As a result, both of you need to feel comfortable and safe in sharing with one another and both of you need to be willing to discuss and work on your concerns in this area.
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