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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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Im in a long term marriage. My wife started an affair 3 years

Customer Question

I'm in a long term marriage. My wife started an affair 3 years ago. Neither my wife nor I want to leave each other, but I want her to stop the affair. She says she can't. I could force myself to end the marriage, or I could, as I do, wait in hope and deal with the grief day to day. Can you help?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Hi john,

This is a difficult situation and in some ways complex, others simple. The simple part is that your marriage choices are limited: end it or accept it. How you enact that choice is going to take lots of work on your part.

The stages of grief & denial are: Denial, Anger,Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. You're stuck in there right now. Of course she can end the affair - she doesn't want to because she wants it all. I recommend that you get some counseling to help you move out of shock and into action.

If you would, please fill out the feedback form after accepting. I appreciate this opportunity to help you out today. If I can be of further service to you, just put "for Anna" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it.