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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My wife and I have only been married three months now and we

Customer Question

My wife and I have only been married three months now and we had a huge arguement this morning. Whenever we argue she immediately plays the "we should get a divorce" card. I see that as ridiculous especially because the fight started because I simply pulled the covers back over to my side of the bed. How do I begin to help her see that we simply need to communicate when we squabble rather than resort to ending it all over spilled milk. I've tried to explain this to her, but it only makes her more defensive.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Evening,

 

Yes, it does sound ridiculous. Try to find out if she really means that literally or just saying it to make you frustrated (because she herself can not express her frustration any other way) Think of the times prior to getting married if similar things had happened where she was unable to communicate/express her needs appropriately.

 

At times it may be helpful to just avoid her and not feed into it. Some battles are not worth fighting. If you see this as a really huge issue then couple's counseling can assist you both if she is willing to admit to her part of the ordeal and go to the therapy. It can not hurt to try it (especially for a newly married couple) with years ahead of them.

 

Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict (Paperback - May 1, 2009)

 

Couple's Communication Made Easy

(Audio CD - Jun 2007)

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
She simply agreed with me and then told me to just avoid my wife when she is behaving a certain way?? That's not really helpful advice coming from a professional.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.
Why the personal attack? "coming from a professional" Perhaps you would benefit from face to face couple's therapy at this point. Perhaps the way you speak to her is similar to how you address strangers. Something to explore in yourself.

Edited by Dr Rossi on 2/6/2010 at 1:25 PM EST