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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1525
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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hello, i 31years and married but seems not to be happy. i

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i 31years and married but seems not to be happy. i have a husband that i feel he is formal,bossy and impatient. he feels he has the answer to allquestions.i am on the other hand stubborn and hate to be controlled so for these reasons we frequently has issues. He's also into girls or let me say girls are attracted to him, he claims he's just helping thembut i feel he sleeps around withthem too. how do i handle this please.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Are you ok with him sleeping around? What have you said and done about this? How long have you been married? Are there trust issues?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
there is really little i could do to help that.and yes, there are trust issues.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Well you are right that you can't control what he does. But are you willing got stay in a relationship with a man that cheats on you and whom you cannot trust? This is why you are not happy. I have to question if you are standing up for yourself. You may not be able to change him but you sure can choose not to accept his behavior. When I see situations like this I think of two things. 1) Either accept him for who he is and all the inappropriate behavior that comes with it or 2) Stand up for yourself and say you will not tolerate this behavior anymore and if he continues then you will leave. You can't be happy if there are trust issues in the relationship. Let him know how you feel and write out a list of things you need from him. One big need is for him not to sleep with other women. Give him the list and see if he can provide this for you. If he can then great. If he cannot then you need to find someone who can. Good luck.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
thank you, XXXXX XXXXX appreciate. we've been married for 5years and we have 2 lovely do i handle this?i dont think i'll want the kids to suffer
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
So what is worse, having the kids bare witness to this infidelity and having mom and dad be unhappy, or having mom and dad separate and both be happier in their lives. Staying for the children's sake is not the answer. It never is. You need to do what is best for you so that you can feel better and be better able to care for the children. Like I said before your options are to accept him and live with the issue, or stand up to him and not accept this behavior anymore in your life. You need to be treated with respect and there needs to be trust in the marriage. If he cannot provide this to you, by proving it on a daily basis, then you need to find someone who can.
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