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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1523
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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my girlfriend and i have been together for 8 years on and off...she

Customer Question

my girlfriend and i have been together for 8 years on and off...she cheated on me 2 years into the relationship and i took her back...after that i was always a bit jealous which eventually lead to a final break up about a year and a half ago...about 10 months ago she contacted me and wanted to start seeing me again...everything was going fine until i found out that she met with an ex of hers without my question is this..if she really wanted to be with me that badly and she really wanted to build a new relationship with me should she really have met with him in this sort of manner..i mean it seemed more important to her to see him than it did that she hurt me..i hope this makes sense...please help!!!
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
I say she has proved on several occasions that she does not care about your feelings. It is more important for her to get together with her ex because she has done this before. I wonder how many times you need to get hurt before you finally stand up to her and say that it is done. You keep putting your life on hold for this girl who you don't trust. If you can't trust her then you don't have a good foundation to build your relationship on.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
The worst part is that i did break it off with her just recently because i was upset about it..come to find out that the day i broke it off happened to be the same day that she recieved some really bad news involving the death of her i feel terribly guilty about that..and i never really wanted to break it off she wont speak to me at all...i know its a bad idea to be with her but i cant even imagine spending my life with anyone else in spite of the fact of what she has done to just very confused
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
In situations like this where a person is torn between how they feel and how they think I always, and I mean always, tell the person to go with what they think. The reason being is that this is where logic comes from. It is also where morality and right and wrong come from. Going by a feeling can definitely make you choose the wrong decision. Especially if it is guilt driven. Go with what your head is telling you and you will be better off in the long run. Good luck.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
ok, so its been almost a week...and ive kept it broken off for good..i did say some horrible things in anger and hurt to get them off my chest...i feel extremely guilty about everything...i hurt very bad and i still wish i was with her in spite of everything.i almost feel like i should have just not even mentioned that this thing bothered me in the first place or ever broken up with i should have just looked the other way and just hoped that she was only friends with him and not cheating on me..i just feel so low and sad and scared and helpless about the whole i dont even feel like im a man at ive been stripped of my sad and ashamed and dissapointed about it all...the worst part is that i miss her and the guilt of breaking it off with her and what i said..