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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1523
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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Dear Expert, I am 25 and have been with my my ex girlfriend,

Resolved Question:

Dear Expert, I am 25 and have been with my my ex girlfriend, who is 20, for about 2 years and two months now. On New Year's eve I got a blindside and she said she does not know about us anymore. I didn't really get a definitive answer but summarized it's like this: her feelings changed she thinks, she doesn't know if she is in love with, at the same time she wants me as a friend in her life on a regular basis because she can't handle a relationship now, she loves me and I was good to her, and she still acts shy or like even flirty at times with me and even mentioned that the attraction is definitely there so if we as friends watch a movie she wouldnt mind sleeping over but that we should take that aspect "slow". This is all very confusing I am a very able and capable person and she also found sometimes I didn't give her the attention she deserves. When I did she said she wouldn't know if that attention was genuine and how long it would last. She always had intimicay issues, help?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
SO what do you want in this relationship? It sounds like she is giving you the runaround.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I want to know the reason the relationship ended. Because first it was because I was a bad listener and gave her lack of attention and then she says things like she didn't know how legit that was and how long that would last. The thing is Adam, I was perfectly happy and knew what I wanted, the support and she was really good of a girlfriend but was pretty introverted and had intimacy issues. So what I want is to get this relationship back but I am very realistic. I realise that isn't possible... But what would be my best chances to put myself in a win win because we broke up. It's over... The chances of ever getting her back are slim and now our relationship is termed as "friends" with her telling me it can lead to more again, us meeting others or not being friends. So to answer ure question I can't know what I want from the prior relationship because that is over and what should I do in this one? Just not hope we can ever be back together? I suffered for 4 years and medschool isn't a piece of cake, so I thought the way we met and how everything happened it went perfect. She ended up moving from another town and lived right around the corner. So I just want to be at peace and know where I stand... I hope what I just said was understandable. Thank you for your time.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
TO put it simple, you are putting your life on hold for something that is likely not going to happen. You want reassurance it is going to happen but logically you know better. You say you don't know why you broke up but yet you answer your own question. The sooner you break off the relationship with her, as I believe being just friends would be too hard for you, then the sooner you can move on with your life and your goals.
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