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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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One of the difficult points in my wife and Is relationship

Resolved Question:

One of the difficult points in my wife and I's relationship has always been my work travel schedule. In the past year and a half, my work travel schedule has been cut back significantly, but it is still not zero. We have recently found out that we will be having a baby in July. My wife has now told me that I am not allowed to travel at all for work while she is pregnant. This is almost impossible with my current position, as seeing customers in different parts of the country is part of my job. She also has recently thrown a huge fit about me taking some clients out to dinner one evening saying I need to be at home in the evening supporting her. She has now gotten to the point of telling me that she will leave me, and take the baby back to her home country of Brazil, and away from me if I travel for work. This has created an almost impossible situation, as with the economy as it is, and me being the sole breadwinner, I need to keep my job. How should I handle this?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Hey Superdog,

Your wife is having some huge anxiety over her pregnancy and being alone with the baby, and that needs to be addressed at the core, not in the outward behavior. You can choose to deal with your travel or not, but if you guys don't find out what is going on in her feelings, it's going to keep running from one thing to another.

I suggest that you get to counseling as soon as possible and get this handled before the baby. She may need reassurance, help, support....all kinds of things, but I guarantee you she does not need an out of work husband with a new baby. Jobs are hard to come by right now, and you can't just throw yours away with this economy. Counseling will give you a coach to help you make some compromises that are reasonable and based on the true issues at hand, rather than fears.

Marriage at gunpoint (the threat of taking your child away) never works. You also have some legal rights about having a child taken out of the country. It needs to not come down to that. Get help now.

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