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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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I have been dating the same guy for almost four years. I had

Customer Question

I have been dating the same guy for almost four years. I had a couple 3-month relationships before that, but this is by far the most serious I have ever been. I am only 21... We are not yet engaged... and I have huge dreams and plans. He is in the military and will probably be deployed at the end of the summer. I love him... he is an amazing guy... but some things, usually small things, usually cause us to bicker at least once a week.... I know that we were brought up in very different ways... and our personalities are not exactly the most compatible. I have broken up with him about 6 different times over the course of our relationship, because I think I have always truly wondered if we were meant to be. I sometimes think that I might be afraid to totally let him go for fear that I might regret it later... I break up and then we fall back into the same trap. I am so confused. I do feel like I want to date other people before I ever get engaged.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi and welcome

Your last sentence speaks the truth about what you want to do. From what you say you are not ready to be in a lasting relationship with him. He is going to be deployed and what then, you would be true to yourself and him by ending the relationship before he is leaves. You are young and have spent four years with the same man, you need more experience in dating others. Don't remain in the relationship because you'll regret it, you can regret it by staying in it too. Listen to your gut, it's telling you what you need to do.
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