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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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I am stuck on a guy that I have liked for 5 years now. He is

Customer Question

I am stuck on a guy that I have liked for 5 years now. He is with someone else; I've known that and vowed over and over again to forget him but I just can't. Currently I am casually dating someone in an attempt to move on. Friends tell me it's the right thing to do if I want to get on with my life. I like this new guy, when I’m with him I truly enjoy his company, but my thoughts turn back to my old crush. This new guy is getting more are more attached and I'm not sure what to do.
My crush is just so amazing that no one can compare to him. I recently got some information on love addiction and according to the description, I’m a love addict. This realization has made me want to change and force myself to change but I can’t. Love addiction or not, my crush is wonderful. I’ve never connected to anyone like I have with him. He’s been nothing but helpful and nice so I have no negative memories I can recall to persuade me to forget him. What do I do? The guy I’m dating is starting to notice my hesitation to commit. Should I be honest and tell this new guy so he decides if he want s to continue this? Should I break things off before he gets more attached, or continue on as things are and just try harder to forget. I don’t want to hurt him but at the same time, I enjoy having him around and at least for a brief moment forget the pain left by my old crush. I would greatly appreciate your advice.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Hi lucky,

Your obsession with the unattainable guy is going to ruin your life if you don't face this addiction. Make no mistake about this - this is a real problem. Love addiction can be recovered from: read, attend SLAA meetings, Codependency Anonymous, and talk to an addictions counselor about it so that you can set up a treatment plan and have some accountability.

You're at a turning point right now, and have the chance of a lifetime to move from your fantasy bubble and into a relationship that can truly meet your needs. Your crush protects you from real intimacy, but guarantees lonliness. You can beat this and be free of it, and it will be worth it in the end.

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