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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  PHD LPC
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A good female friend of mine (who have known for a year) got

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A good female friend of mine (who have known for a year) got pregnant with her boyfriend's baby earlier this year after dating about a month. Now they have gotten engaged and are living together. We have had no physical contact other than friendly hugs.

Recently we went to dinner and she confided in me that she isn't happy because he is often insensitive. So much so that earlier this week she locked herself in the bathroom crying. She also says that he is smothering her calling her often during the day and never wanting her to go anywhere without him. he kind of freaked out when a female friend of ours canceled but that she still wanted to go out with me. he called several times during the night and stared at us when I dropped her off at her house.

I have played the role as sounding board for her but I haven't offered any advice. I am worried about her though and I don't like to see her stressed and sad. Should I tell her that I am concerned and it seems he is very insecure and possibly co-dependent? Or should continue to play the role of sounding agree with her when she makes points I agree with and let her come to her own conclusions?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi and welcome

Besides the fact that you sound like a very good friend you are also very smart in knowing that this young lady needs some help in regards XXXXX XXXXX situation. If she feels this smothered now, once her baby comes and she is "locked" into this relationship with a man she only dated a month before getting pregnant, she will be feeling more confined.
As the friend the best think you can do is suggest that she see a therapist. Listening to her and validating what she is saying and feeling is the right thing for you to do but a therapist can help her make the right choices and help her through the parts that you cannot answer for her. She has a lot of decisions to make and it sounds as though she is not so sure she is with the right partner. If she weren't pregnant it would not be such a big issue. Again, you can tell her you are concerned about her and her situation but do not tell her what you think of him, she can figure that out in therapy. She is lucky to have you as her friend. I wish you both the best.
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