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Ask Susan Ivy Your Own Question
Susan Ivy
Susan Ivy, Nurse (RN)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4058
Experience:  Nurse Psychotherapist. MSN, CNS in Child&Adolescent Psychiatric Nrsing
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i got married on the 7th june this year, i had a arguement

Customer Question

i got married on the 7th june this year, i had a arguement with my husband 7 weeks ago i kicked him out, he came back twice stayed one night, left then came knowing that he as met someone else but he said she was nothing. he came again, stayed weekend bought shopping said for us to get a morgage together planned a holiday for next year. then after work he said to me his fed up with life and kids and work and said he wants to go back to his flat. one min he loves me then he says his feelings have gone. im not aloud to contact him he said it puts him off. but i cant help myself. pls help is my marriage save able? donnamrie bakici. ive been with him three yrs.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Susan Ivy replied 7 years ago.



Thank you for writing to JustAnswer with your question.


I am sorry to hear of your situation. There does seem to be a very deep problem here, that he won't allow you to call him for such reasonsas you describe is not usual. You ask "is my marriage save able". This depends not only on you, but also on your husband. It definately takes two working at a marriage, and only one person invested will only have sorrow from the situation.


First of all, you need to take care of yourself. Start counseling and become empowered in who you are and know your self worth.


You can ask your husband if he is willing to work in couples therapy. If he is not willing to do this then he is not willing to look at himself and put in any effort towards this marriage. Again, marriage takes effort. If he is not willing to change then you must move forward because you are worth having a person who is as willing as you to work as a team.


I'd recommend you take a look at this link which gives information and help regarding relationships (go to the tab on the left and click relationships to read the section that you are interested in - there is information on health relationships as well as dealing with a break-up)


I wish you the best. If you have questions or comments still needing to be addressed feel free to reply so that I may respond.