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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Hi, I have a very good friend that lives far from me. whenever

Customer Question


I have a very good friend that lives far from me. whenever we're close we like to be close to each other however, whenever we far from each other we act as very good friends. He's in my mind many of times during the day. Sometimes he makes me feel that he misses me and wants me close in an indirect way but sometimes i feel like he wants some time off from me. I'm confused and not sure if I should stay out of contact for some time.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Morning,


When in doubt - ask him or point out to him your observation and let him share the reasons.


The speculations can be many. If you meant close (by intimately close) then he probably wants the best of both worlds- intimacy when you're in the same area and freedom to explore other options when he's elsewhere.


It sounds as though you're the one thinking about him as you said "He's in my mind many of times during the day" and that he makes you miss him. Your feelings result from your thinking (since no one can make another feel something )


Just ask him or write him an email to share your troughs and feelings on this issue.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
there is a big gap between me and him - the distance between us. We are very close friends and share alot of thoughts when we talk. We talk to each other almost every week. However, I always keep it friendly and even frindly say that i miss him alot and i love hime alot (I make it sound like a friend would say so).
Last time when i visited and was about to leave he was very frustrated. He told me that he got very close to me and I mean alot to him but never he likes me. He said that he doesn't wanna say that that because every time it happens he loses his close people. He told me many times that he cares for and he's always there for me. He'll do for anything I ask and he tells me I shouldn't hesitate to ask anything I need because he's always there for me. He's very nice to me, very gentle. I don't know what to think.
This person means alot to me NOT because I have feelings for him. I enjoy talking to him. However, sometimes I feel he's afraid to get too involved with me. I understand there is a big distance between us and we're very different people with different lifestyles but I just can't help to get him out of my life.

I just wanna figure out how he feels... does he have any feelings but he just doesn't wanna create complications and lose my friendship? Because we both know that there are little chances for us to be together.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

The only way to figure out how someone feels is to ask them directly. Of course, if he is confused or does not want to share, there is not much you can do to get that info out.


If you believe there is little chance, he probably feels that way too and don't' want you and him to get hurt. That is understandable. At least you could remain friends through a distance relationship and come to terms with that so the two of you can move on and be happy.

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