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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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Good afternoon, I am in a situation where I dont know what

Customer Question

Good afternoon,

I am in a situation where I don't know what to do. My fiance is mad at me because she feels I do not trust her. I do trust her but I constantly joke about other people trying to talk to her.

This past weekend she got mad when she learned I went to forum to get some insight about her going to a club with her bff. I do trust her but in my mind clubs are meant for single people. Everytime I joke about her talking to someone else or anything like that she gets irate.

What do I do? I think I need help
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
I think you might be thinking along the same lines I am. I think joking about cheating shows her 1) you don't trust her and 2) there are insecurities you have. If she has given you no indications not to trust her then..............YOU HAVE TO TRUST HER. She may just want to be with her friend and go dancing. The more you make comments and joke the more it is going to push her away from you. If she tells you that hurts her then knock it off. Think it but don't say it. Maybe go with her and see for yourself what sh is doing and then you might feel more at ease. If you truely feel you can't stop joking about this then it might be beneficial to sek counseling and get this thing under control. There is nothing worse then an overbearing, insecure partner who wants to know every detail about a girls night out. Let her do her thing UNTIL....she gives you reason not to trust her. Then and only then are you entitled to freak out on her.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Well I think I have just lost the love of my life. today she said she wanted to stay home tonight instead of going out like we usually do. But she wanted to stay home alone, then later she said she was going over to her friend's house tomorrow and I guess I misunderstood or she misunderstood what I said because she told me if she doesn't get some alone time then we're through. She turned off her phone because she was at work and hasn't responded to the apology email I sent her.


I am mad at myself, I just possibly lost the most wonderful woman in the world because I am an insecure fool. If this relationship is truly over I don't know what I am going to do

Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Well you need to set things straight with her and you have to listen to what she needs from you. Hopefully you can provide that to her. Let her know the mistakes you made and have her tell you the things she needs and wants from you. Then, start trying to accomodate those needs.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

I emailed her to apologize, I know that I need help because she has never given me a reason to doubt her. I know I can be hard to deal with because of how I am, I don't know why am this way. I try to make her as happy as I can, but I think the damage I did today is just irreparable. She won't even answer the email I sent her so I know that it's not good.


I don't know what I need, but I know that if I do lose her... she is my world.

Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
First of all you need to calm down. Give her space. Let her calm down and think things over. Don't jump to worse case yet. If you know you need help then make an appointment to see a therapist and start to get this thing back on track. Yo uneed to prove to her by your actions that you are going to make things better.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

well she answered the email and it's pretty much what you've been saying. She feels that I don't trust her and she can't keep dealing with it.


I know I need to see someone but right now since I just got a new job I couldn't afford to go see someone.

Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Lay out a plan for her how you are going to be better about the situation and start working on it. Getting an appointment with a counselor is a good first step.

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