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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1523
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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Ok.. let me tell you my story in short.. all my time growing

Resolved Question:

Ok.. let me tell you my story in short.. all my time growing up,i had a father who verbally abused me and never was there for me, and when I was 16 told me he had never loved me and never will, unless I accomplish something. I had a good relation to mother til I was in my teenn.. She was unfaithful, and she said she had never had sex, and a couple of years later I asked if that was really true, and she then called me a fool for believing her.. then at 16 I asked what she would do if I was a lesbian or pregnant and she then said she would kick me out and not care anymore about me. Now I'm unhappily married and plan a divorce and a child that got conceived accidently.. and I want my husband to have sole custody. My parents don't know of this but they think I ought to love my kid,they love my kd more than they loved me and I feel they where have NO right to speak there. I have cut contact for good they see their grandchild should I feel guilty there?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Why do you feel guilty?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
because everyone expects me to make up with my parents...and for my kids sake but I can't stand my parents...and they did not love me..they claim they did/do but their actions prove to me they don't
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
I am with you...actions speak louder than words. Is it reconcilable with your parents or is it unrepairable? Do they treat your children well? If the issue is between you and them then keep it that way and let them have a relationship with their grandchildren if they treat the children well. Otherwise, if your parents are mean to your children, and obviously you don't want to see your children hurt, then tell your parents the relationship is off. If they treat your children well and you refuse the relationship then there will be guilt. Don't make your children suffer because of issues you have with your parents. It will hurt you in the long run and your children will resent you. I hope this helps.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you. I will continue let my parents have a relation to their grandchild but I feel my relation to them is irrepairable. Too much has happened. Thank you for your advice.