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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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Im engaged but my fiance does not want to talk about a wedding

Resolved Question:

Im engaged but my fiance does not want to talk about a wedding and gets upset when I try to. We are both divorced and he says it's normal to be "cautious" the second time around. Honestly I have doubts about this relationship because of his attitude. We've been together for 5 years.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Hi Maureen,

I can understand your doubts, and I would have them also. Sure people need to be cautious. 5 years IS cautious. What is more troubling is his attitude of anger when you talk about it - as if it's something you want and he doesn't?

You have the absolute right to be a fully funtioning member of the decision making team. If he doesn't want to discuss this in a mature way, then you need to look at that as a problem. In the end, you'll have to decide if it matters enough to you to be a deal breaker. If it is, tell him so and be prepared to back it up. If it isn't, then I reccomend to let it go and not let it ruin the good you have.

For your sanity, you'll need to find a way to exist with his reluctance if you choose to stay. In that case I recommend that you make an agreement with him to visit the question every 6 months.

Remember that you own 50% of the voting stock in this relationship. Let that give you confidence to discuss this.

Thanks for the chance to answer your question today.
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