Yes, counseling will help. This is clearly a big issue, and a big issue for you which is what should be the reason for him to pay attention to it. He is married to the other woman for some reason, otherwise he would let go of that and commit to you. That he isn't doing it speaks volumes, and you're hearing it. Don't let him convince you that you shouldn't be feeling upset about this, or "that its just a piece of paper". If that were true, he would fix it.
How would you feel about him giving the dog just a little kick each day? "Just a little one...not enough to really hurt him". I think if you put the situation outside of yourself like that, you might be able to see it for what it is: simply a cruel thing to do to a loyal family member. Why would a lovable man do something so consistantly painful to the dog? Why would he do this to you? Nice people don't do things like this.
Counseling for you will help you firm up your boundaries and give you the confidence to hold firm to your stance of respect for yourself.I'm going to give you some links on Codependency
, that if you'll read, you'll start to understand why you have trouble keeping your deadlines and how your feelings of love for this man are allowing you to be in a situation that hurts you every day. It's humiliating to you and is breaking your heart. That needs to matter, and when it doesn't matter enough for him to deal with, it's a big problem in both of you and the coupleship. Most any licensed counselor will be able to help you with this. good article
Thanks for the opportunity to answer your question today.