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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My boyfriend and I have been on and off since 1996. I am feeling

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My boyfriend and I have been on and off since 1996. I am feeling confused and guilty because I dont think I want to be in a relationship with him anymore. I am 44, my kids have just started their own lives with school and work. I'm feeling like I want to be on my own, not obligated to cook, have sex or even interact with anyone unless I want to. It would be nice to be alittle selfish and totally concentrate on me right now. My boyfriend tries hard to make me happy, but I feel disconnected. On top of all that we are having the same money issues that we always have when we get back together. His work and pay are instable which requires that I take care of the majority of our expenses all the time. Should I stay with him since he tries so hard to make me happy?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Evening,


It sounds like you know what you want. There is nothing wrong with wanting autonomy and to have more money and not try to satisfy someone else meanwhile.


As far as whether to stay with him or not, the choice will have to come from you. This to an extent is going to be based on your belief if of whether you can have what you need while you are with him. It is not impossible to be committed to someone and still have some autonomy. It is even healthy to want to have autonomy in any relationship.


Of what you're saying he is trying to please you. Nothing wrong with that either. Perhaps you could find a way to get both the guy and your own satisfaction. Afterall, inner freedom and satisfaction come from within and we do not truly rely 100% on someone else. Any relationship may have money problems if not now at a later time. You never know. At least you know what his guy is all about versus going with the unknown. Do some soul searching and see where you get.

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