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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1767
Experience:  PHD LPC
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Im a 26 year old American born Jew with Israeli parents. Ive

Customer Question

I'm a 26 year old American born Jew with Israeli parents. I've always been very connected to Israel in so far as i've dedicated my life to studying and working toward bettering this country. I come from a family where politics and nationalism mean a lot and i've always been steadfast in my ideals. A few weeks ago I decided to move to Israel. My parents still live in the US but i have a lot of close family in Israel including my brother. while here I met and fell in love with a man who is a Christian Israeli Arab. As you can imagine this is the worst possible environment for Israelis and Arabs to mix romantically. I discussed the situation with one of my cousins, who despite being a more liberal member of my family, very harshly demanded I end it. I'm completely torn apart. Him and i have discussed it at length and are considering continuing our relationship in secret. His family is accepting however mine is not. Anywhere else in the world we could make this work. What can i do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi and welcome,

Have you ever wondered what kind of world this would be if we removed all labels from all people? I believe the world would be a better place. But that isn't the way it is and we have to deal with what we are given. If you continue this relationship in "secret" how long do you think you could last? If you found a place to live that was accepting of your relationship, what about your family? Are you willing to forgo a relationship with them to be happy? Since you have only been there a couple of weeks this relationship is new and new relationships are exciting and sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees so to speak, take it slow and give yourself time to know if this is the love you have hoped for, it could burn out as fast as you fell and these differences can cause a myriad of problems as you get more involved. I would suggest you make sure you want to be with him for the long run before you listen to your heart and leave for another place in the world (or come back to the states) and possibly lose your family support . Tread very carefully here, I know when you are in love it seems that nothing is impossible however, once the initial phase of a relationship ends, the real world creeps in and you could wind up unhappy and missing your family. Think slow and if you have to keep it a secret for now, that's okay. You are the one that has to find out through your own experience what to do....
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Edited by Dr. Keane on 11/16/2009 at 2:35 PM EST

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