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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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My husband has a female friend that he met while on a deployment

Customer Question

My husband has a female friend that he met while on a deployment at Afghanistan and when he returned home she would call and ask him to go for drinks, dinner etc. We have recently moved because of my husbands work but the woman has been posted to the same place. She calls his mobile, and are friends on facebook. She recently added me as a friend but wont talk to me but as soon as i sign on to my husbands she instantly starts a conversation.
and when she arrives, im affraid that she will be clingy as she wont know anyone and they will be working together all day everyday. Do i have anything to worry about?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi and welcome,

There is something to be said for people who become friends while being in a situation such as deployment, there is comradery that forms amongst the soldiers, both men and women. If it gets to the point where you gut tells you something isn't right then you might want to have a talk with your husband about some boundaries that may need to be set. If she is asking him to dinner and drinks maybe you should ask if you can join them. He is a married man and there are some limits to how much is enough in terms of going out with a female friend. I would let him know that although you trust him you are not 100% comfortable with the relationship since she seems to ignore you on facebook . You will have to wait until she arrives to see how close she tries to become. It could be nothing but two soldiers who became friends but it could grow into something else. Keep the lines of communication open between you and your husband, make plans for you and him to spend time alone together and
keep your relationship in tact.
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