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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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I am currently going through a divorce and have been seeing

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I am currently going through a divorce and have been seeing someone casually for about seven weeks now. I really liked him last year but put it out of my mind. All he wanted was a relationship and then earlier this year he met someone and things moved really fast and they moved in together. However, in August he came to a barbecue at my house and after we went out as a group but at the end of the night it was just he and I left. He told me he really liked me and could not stop thinking about me and that he kept thinking about us together. My marriage came to an end (it should have ended years ago). Anyway this guy finished with his girlfriend but she wanted to give it another go and was really upset so he tried for a month. Then he decided that it was all over and she moved out. However, we have been spending time together but he blows hot and cold. When we are together he is very affectionate and we don't always have sex but lots of cuddles. He told me the other night that he always wanted a relationship but then when he was with this girl he came to hate her and that now he does not want a relationship but that he really enjoys spending time with me. I am so confused. Should i just walk away and forget it, I really like him and we do have fun together and get on so well?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.

If he seems hesitant to move the relationship further along, then he may need more time. He likes spending time with you and that's okay, for now. Don't walk away and forget it , try and enjoy just being with him. You are ready to move on due to your bad marriage. If things moved so quickly with his last relationship and they quickly began living together he just may not want to make the same mistake. Just keep the lines of communication open between you. Say what you feel and listen to what he is saying. That's how good relationships are formed. if you have fun and really like him, then just enjoy each other's company. If you want you can give it an end date (not a big fan of that but some people find it helpful), say for example, .you give it six months this way and then you decide if you want to extend it or move on. He sounds like he is a bit scared of committing to anyone right now. Who knows how he'll feel in six months. Also, if during this time you happen to meet someone else, then you aren't tied into a relationship right out of the divorce gate so to speak, give yourself some time too.
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