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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I have been dating the woman of my dreams for a year now and

Customer Question

I have been dating the woman of my dreams for a year now and overall our relationship is awesome. We get along great and everything is going just great. There is one issue and I am not sure if it is just me or if I have anything to wory about. she is a dispatcher for a local sherriff's department and she comunicates daily while on shift via a IM type chat to officers as needed. The other day she saw an officer that was on duty and recognized his name as someone from high school. She contacted him via this IM and confirmed who he was. She then spent the next to shifts on chatting with him the enitre night. Last night he left the city he works in while on duty to come over to the dispatch center to meet her and chat for over an hour. When I voiced my concern about this she blew me off and said that I talk to people at my work while at work and so it should be no big deal. sometimes we email back and forth while at work and she blew me off for a couple of hours while he came up to chat. when I asked what happened to her she said he came up to visit. Do I have anythign to worry about ro am I just being overly jealous in this matter? I do not want anything between us, I love her so much and I know she loves me.
can you help me?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Afternoon,

 

It is not unusual for old school mates and/or friends to connect (this is especially the case with online searchers like face book etc) If you trust her and she loves you, then there is no need to be concerned. If this turns out to be a daily routine, then you may revisit this question with her. After all, in a committed relationship the two partners ought to trust each other.

Try to see what comes out of it and do not make something out of nothing for now. She may feel intimidated and controlled otherwise which could make her try to vent about this to her male friend.

Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE,
i DO TRUST HER AND WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER. i DO NOT WANT HER TO FEEL THAT WAY. wHAT CAN I CAN FOR MYSELF TO KEEP FROM THINKING AND ACTING IN A WAY THAT SHE WOULD THINK THAT WAY?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.
Just try to remind yourself that if you over react, this may be a run off for her. It is ok to think about the situation-it is human. Consider it "health jealousy" and tell her you're just concerned and remind her that you trust her. In order for her not to feel defensive, when you talk with her try not to sound accusatory (you may say something like" I trust you and I am concerned but know that you would do the right thing and won't do anything that you would not want me to do.") Just roll with the punches and see what comes out of it. Stressing over something is not helpful and not matter how much you stress or obsess, you still have no control over her and a person will do what they want to do.