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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Hello, My husband and I have been together for 5 years but

Customer Question


My husband and I have been together for 5 years but only married for 3 months. With other personal aspects, this has been a very stressful year for us. It seems today that our relationship is falling apart. Everytime we argue, he walks out the door. It seems as no matter how hard I try, everything is my fault and to me, I feel the same about him. I work full-time and do laundry, cook, when he works and doesn't help out at home. When talked to about this, he gets mad and says to "give him a break". He is not financially responsible. He pays for barely anything. He doesn't take work seriously and he procrastinates. I can be hard on him but only for these reasons and it gets to the point where I can't say anything cause he just gets mad and has an excuse for everything he does/doesn't do and when I ask him to do something, he gets mad and blames me for treating him bad and "bugging" him. It gets to the point where I say nothing anymore to avoid a fight. What can I do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Morning,


Marriage is a process of trial and error like in any partnership. Perhaps the fact that you had actually gotten married had put a strain on both of you on some level. (as you are saying he is not paying much and that can be very stressful in a marriage)

The fact that he walks off when you are having a disagreement is common to many men. This is a self defense mechanism. They do not like to feel blamed and always want to feel in control.

Hopefully many of his behaviors or personality traits are not new to you having been involved for 5+ years.

If possible, see if chores around the house can be delegated. That way you won't feel burned out. If he does not help nothing is stopping you from not doing his laundry. Even Judge Judy had done this number on her husband and he then had to do something after a week without clean clothes. After all, deep down inside men want to be taken care of whether realistic or not of an expectation.

Try to talk to him when there is no argument at hand. Perhaps make some time after dinner and also try to suggest marriage counseling. This would be quite helpful since you have so many things on your mind. Of course, he ought to be willing to give it a try. A marriage runs due to the effort of both parties.