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Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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1. If my wife wears the pants in our relationship and I wear the skirt, what should her responsibilities be and mine be in order to be a good fair share of the responsibilities. 2. If my wife sleeps with another man and gives me permission to do the same with a women, but I am not interested simply because I don't have the desire, does it mean that there is something unfair or can it still be acceptable. 3. What are other additional ways besides a special dinner night out that could encourage her to dress with the long skirts / white panties that I prefer. 4. My wife is always worried about missing out on doing the things she wants in her life, but she mainly wants to be an actress and although she is pretty I don't know how to explain to her that it is not that realistic and that maybe it is a little too late for it but I am not sure how to explain it to her in a way that won't hurt her feelings.
1. If my wife wears the pants in our relationship and I wear the skirt, what should her responsibilities be and mine be in order to be a good fair share of the responsibilities.

It depends on if one works outside the home and one is in the homemaker role. If you're the homemaker, then I would say that about 75% of the care of the kids and home is on your shoes...as in you both work 50/50 and then split the after work chores and house stuff. Both get credit for 8-9 hours of work each day and split the leftover chores 50%, giving the homemaker 75%. Depending on who likes the outdoor stuff more decides how that one gets dealt with and how the seasonal demands go. Who wears the pants doesn't have to include undue workloads for one person in a coupleship. When you're negotiating the division of chores, take into account how long the task takes and how much mental and physical energy is involved. Also consider if it's a task that can be done on your own time or is has to be done no matter what.

2. If my wife sleeps with another man and gives me permission to do the same with a women, but I am not interested simply because I don't have the desire, does it mean that there is something unfair or can it still be acceptable.

Certainly it can be acceptable. In some polyamorous couples, only one member shares sexual encounters with others. Just because you can accept your partner being sexual with someone else doesn't mean you want to go there yourself - it's a whole different dynamic psychologically. You might be surprised at how many different kinds of agreements couples have, and have through time. Don't push yourself to be someone you're not. Communication is the key here...a strong relationship and lots of communication.

3. What are other additional ways besides a special dinner night out that could encourage her to dress with the long skirts / white panties that I prefer.

Buy them for her.
Show her a picture of the kind of skirts you find attractive.
Tell her that you imagine her in them and it makes you smile.
Introduce them during an intimate time together instead of before.

If you keep talking about it in a seductive way and show your excitement with eye contact and a happy feeling, she'll consider it - even if just inside her mind. Attraction is better than promotion in cases like this. Make it so she wants to join you in the fun.

4. My wife is always worried about missing out on doing the things she wants in her life, but she mainly wants to be an actress and although she is pretty I don't know how to explain to her that it is not that realistic and that maybe it is a little too late for it but I am not sure how to explain it to her in a way that won't hurt her feelings.

Step away from the cookie jar,Customer There isn't a good reason on this planet to say that to her in any way shape or form. Encourage her to be involved with local theater and to take acting classes and workshops and just step back and reap the rewards of your sportiveness. Many many actors aren't Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston, in fact some of them are really odd looking...but that is the essence of acting, isn't it? To take someone away from who you really are and into a fantasy. Encourage her and let the rejection (if it comes) be between her and the profession. You can get good credit for your behavior before, during and after, and it will enhance your relationship to where she'll be more encouraged to give back....maybe in the form of cotton panties and long skirts.

Take care, Pre.

Anna

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