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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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i am having a problem with getting an erection with my wife.

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i am having a problem with getting an erection with my wife. There are times when I get an erection and at the point of impact or insertion, it goes dow. Mostly, there is nothing when we get ready to do it. oral sex doesn't help, stroking the penis doesn't help. I can get an erection out of the bed and I still get sexually arroused, it's just that when we get ready to do it. I cannot get or maintain and errection. once i do get in, it usually doesn't last for more than 30 mins. I've been tested at the hospital, and i'm told it's memntal. I even went to a therapist who specialized in sexual dysfunction with no success, even using hypnosis.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Hi bcwilliams,

You've tried all the right things: getting cleared medically, seeing a specialist in sexual dysfunction and trying hypnosis.

I would look at trying the Viagra type drugs if you haven't already. That can usually override the mental issues and create a better feedback loop out of the frustration and disappointment.

Other areas to look would be to talk to your doctor about medical procedures and products to help you, look at your consumption of alcohol and/or drugs & nicotine, and have a full medical workup to rule out diabetes or other physical issues that can impact sexual performance, including any medications you may be on. Becoming habituated to masturbation can also impact penile/vaginal sexual performance.

If none of that gives you fruit for your labor, then I would try marital counseling to rule out hidden issues between you and your spouse that are showing up in the bedroom.

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