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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My ex and i broke up few months ago because she was seeing

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My ex and i broke up few months ago because she was seeing someone behind my back. We dated for 3 years. We haven't talked for a long time and recently i met her at a event and we hit it off and started talking again. Things quickly lead to one thing and another and we ended up in bed. Now after all these mix signals im getting i had to have the talk with her to see what was going on. She told me that she really likes me still but doesn't want to commit. Shes 24 and so am i and she says that shes young and she doesn't want to get married yet and that she wants to explore more before she finds out whos the right one for her. Of course i feel differently about this as i still have some feelings for her. Yesterday i found out that the guy was still texting her and she was still calling him so i told her to not talk to me again ever until she stops seeing this married guy. She told me that we needed to get to know each other better and talk more and that this is moving too fast. I'm lost
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Afternoon,


The messages that your ex girlfriend have been giving you in the past (when you broke up because of her unfaithfulness) and currently, when she cheated on her new boyfriend with you, are quite clear to an objective observer. She had even verbalized her feelings of not wanting to commit, feeling she's too young for a serious relationship, etc.

What you may be feeling is disappointment deep down inside which, is difficult for anyone to deal with disappointment. You are confused because she had engaged in a sexual act with you. Some women being more promiscuous would do so. That does not indicate love or any deeper feelings than the enjoyment of the sexual act. This also applies to men as well and they have been stereotyped all of this time, when in fact, women can have strong libidos and not necessarily want to commit to any oner partner.

A good predicament of future behavior is past behavior. Her behavior had burned you once in the past. Now, it is up to you to decide how you want the future to look like. Relationships take two people who are committed and faithful. The other stuff is dating, fooling around and playing the "I don't know what I want, I have feelings but.."stuff.


You sould more mature than she does.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Hi Dr. Rossi,

Thanks for your advice. I really love this girl alot and i guess she's going through her phase of this now. She wasn't like this before. Everything we do lately looks like we're sitll a couple like going out to places, vacationing, intimacy, and sleeping over, however there is just no title involved and she is less intimate than before. We don't usually hold hands or anything. She has told me she has no prospects lined up so i don't have to worry about her sleeping with other people. I want to try to be there for her and give her time until she realizes unless you think it's a bad idea. She thinks that i'm trying to rush her into dating again when shes not ready yet and shes told me many times.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.
Do as you see what is best for you. You will be entrusting your feelings and trust to her. If you feel that you can trust her, then giving her time to sort her feelings out is appropriate.
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