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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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sorted the problem with the problem with the boses but we know

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sorted the problem with the problem with the boses but we know have a problem with the girl in question ive been to quiet with her it been hard for me to aproach her at work and ive been through a bad relionship in the past ive like been holding back she where asking me out for a drink last week on tues tues she was crying because i would not talk to her but today a thought i try and break the ice with her which i did and it wasnt very nice what she said to me she thinks am messing her about which am not what do you suggest i do cause i really love this girl
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Evening,


The best thing to do in any new relationship is to take it slow and approach it with caution. Also, from the start being honest and genuine is helpful so the other person in question does not get confused later on.

So little steps at the beginning and see how she responds and that will be a clue as to how to proceed.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i have been doing what you say she might be confused or she might be just leading me on which i dont think she is how would you aproach her my mate says you ask out for a drink first and explain to her why im quiet i dont really want to start having a go at her i am a bit confused myself its been going on the last three mounth like this
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.
As long as you know what you want, then it would make sense to let her know. Why not? Once you do so, you will at least have a chance to see how she takes it and you would have gotten it off your mind and shoulders and won't be going back and forth like you said had been happening for 3 months. Women want to know where they stand in the other person's life and if they have plans of their own, some women would have the decency of letting them be known. That is because women want to be able to trust their partner and it is good to have trust from the start and honesty.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
told her what i wanted ask her out she said no and i told her to stop messing me about so she knows am legit saying no didnt bother me as long as i got my point across later that day her friend overheard me talking that i live on my own and other things the next day the reaction i got was a good one so what do you sugest i do
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

You were honest (so, you got to see how she is)

Perhaps now you can keep it a low key and see what comes out of her.

People can play mental games just for so long and then their true self comes out.

You want to see what the real person is (then you would also know more about your own intent and feelings) If possible, just go with the flow and let her tell you what she wants. Women know what they want and a lot of them will go to an extent to get it. Unfortunately,, a lot of women don't say it out straight and hope that the guy would guess it. So, if you can don't try to guess and ask her if you're not sure what she wants.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
the thing is she knows ive been very loyal to her and we used to get interference from the people from work which upset her i got her some protection and she was very impressed by it she has come back to me twice before so if she does am going to start talking to her she is a bit timid kind of girl what do you think
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

If you are willing to take a chance and ask her out (the interaction at work does not always allow for much anything or to get to know someone better)

Even if it is asking her to eat lunch together during a break (preferably not at the work setting though) This will allow for more time to become familiar with one another on a personal level (not just as coworkers)

Even shy women like positive attention.

Edited by Dr Rossi on 10/17/2009 at 1:17 PM EST
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
its difficult during lunch break because we have it at different times and we cant go out of the work premises but i think she has my telephone number but shes not going to ring me if were playing mind games she has trying to talk to me on friday since she knows the full facts about me cause am always going past her she is also saying she going out with someone else to keep the coworkers of our back which is confusing for me all my friends are thinking she is just leading me on any help please on this matter
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

It seem that you know where you stand. There is nothing you can do to speed up her response. If things are to happen they will. Just keep your expectations realistic so you don't get disappointed.


You could phrase it like "If you feel like getting a cup of coffee or a bite you have my number" That at least leaves it open to her and I think if she wants to do it, it won't be too long from when you asked. Some women do date more than one men. You may not be able to know unless she tells you she's seeing someone (but if she does tell you that, it would indicate either - this is the truth, or she is not interested)

Maybe if you play hard to get she can get interested then (if meant to happen)


Some time friends would have your best interested at hand so, it does not hurt to see what their take is on this (like you already mentioned what they've shared with you)

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
she done that in the past just to knock our co workers off the scent be they are hell bent on trying to split us up you would not believe how many people would try and spoil it her friend said she is only staying there because of me so what i think because am not talking to her she turned me down
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Only she knows why she did so. If you speculate about the reasons you would get yourself in tangled in it.

If there are some coworkers with which the two of you are friends with, perhaps going out for a snack with few other people and she, may not be threatening to her. As far as why she turned you down that is also a speculation; afterall, you can still talk to her and she to you. Affection is stronger than grudges.

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