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Rosemary S.
Rosemary S., Human-Svs/Counseling
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6
Experience:  Masters in Human-Svs- Counseling.
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hi my name is mel, i broke up with my ex 4months ago due to

Customer Question

hi my name is XXXXX XXXXX broke up with my ex 4months ago due to i got in depression cause i had whooping cough and doc had to derminate my pregnancy at this point he didnt no, about month ago i got in contact with him we sat and talked about it everything was cool, we were dating almost a year um he told me that he started to date 18 yr old a week and a half later after we broke up since talking again he has gotten rid of her, he is coming out to see me thursday i decided to ask him to a event thats coming up sat night but he said do i have to remind u this is as friends!! i love him heaps and im 23 and he is 30 i actually asked him if there was a chance of us getting back together he said he cant see this happening atm well not yet something close to that, is there like no hope the event we are going to is theme park, how do i reignite a spark in him thanks
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rosemary S. replied 7 years ago.





It appears that you are an individual who has endured a 'serious personal tragedy' during these last several months.


I think it is wise on your part to recognize this, as you are seeking a neutral third party opinion at 'Just Answer.' This is a good start.


It also appears that perhaps there is some uncertainty, and/or confusion, as to whether or not, you and your ex-boyfriend have any type of a future together.


(Even under more positive circumstances, this is a common concern, you are not alone.)


Although it appears that the two of you are currently having some regular dialogue, perhaps there is some uncertainty, and/or confusion, by both of you in regard to your feelings for one another, as well as if the two of you have a future together as 'a couple.'


(I assume from your comments that when the two of you sat down and talked about 'it,' you were referring in part, to the personal tragedy you outlined in your question.)


I urge you to consider seeking some in-person 'professional counseling,' as soon as possible.


I strongly suggest, you begin making inquiries regarding receiving some professional counseling immediately. (Given the severity of the experiences you have recently endured.)


The 'mental health professional' may help you discover other feelings you could be unaware of, that you may be currently experiencing.


After what you have recently endured, it is okay to seek 'professional help' in 'working through' the 'healing process.'


You may want to start by contacting a local hospital in your area. Perhaps they have a 'referral service,' where they would be able to recommend a competent 'mental health professional.'


You may also want to contact your 'personal physician.' Perhaps he, or she, can recommend a 'mental health professional.'


If financial affordability is an issue, please be certain to mention this. Perhaps they can recommend a 'mental health professional' who would charge a more reasonable fee.


Also, maybe either the 'referral service' or your 'physician,' would be able to recommend a 'not-for-profit counseling center' in your area, where you could receive some quality counseling at a more affordable fee. (*Some centers may provide individual, couples, and group counseling, at more affordable fees. This may vary.)


In addition, another idea, is possibly joining a 'support group' where you could discuss what you have experienced with other people who may have experienced a similar situation. This could be useful, perhaps in addition, to any individual counseling you may seek. Peer support can also be very beneficial.


Maybe the 'referral service,' your 'physician,' and/or 'counseling center,' could recommend a 'support group' for you as well.


Lastly, maybe both you, and your ex-boyfriend, could consider seeking some 'couples counseling,' or both participate in a 'support group' together. (Perhaps the sources suggested above could recommend one.)


I say this because, as stated above, it appears from your question that perhaps both you, and your ex-boyfriend, are experiencing an array of feelings which have yet to be uncovered.


Although you have experienced both the physical pain, as well as the emotional pain, your ex-boyfriend has also suffered a loss as well.


Perhaps the options suggested above, would be able to help either you alone, or both of you, in determining if you would have any type of a future together.


Maybe after what you both have recently experienced, it is too soon for either of you to know what you want during this difficult time. This is certainly understandable.


Perhaps you both need some time to work through the 'healing process' with the 'proper professional help,' either separately, or together, before making any important decisions.

(Which could have an impact on both of your futures.)


Good luck!, and best wishes.

Rosemary S.



Legal Disclaimer: The information provided above, is general information only and is not intended to serve as a long, or short term, professional relationship. By providing the above information, I am not engaging in a 'relationship designee - client relationship' with you. The above information is only intended to provide general information. The fee that you may pay me, is for general information only. No part of this disclaimer can be reproduced, or copied, without the express consent of Rosemary S., the owner.


*If you find this information to be helpful, then please click 'accept.' Otherwise, I will not be financially compensated for the time, and effort, I spent on answering this question. Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX good luck.

Edited by Rosemary S. on 10/14/2009 at 3:58 AM EST