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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over 9 years.

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I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over 9 years. 4 years dating and 5 living together. We get a long great have had maybe 5 or 6 disagreements in all those years. Love each other, everything is great! HE brought up getting married about 6 years ago. We have talked about it and agreed it's something we want. (he's never been married (47, i'm divorced with 2 grown children(45). This is the only problem we have. He says all the time we "should get married". I tell him okay get a ring and propose and he says "okay I will". He never has. When I confront him (about once a year) it's like I'm twisting his arm and he says "okay okay I'll get a ring, we'll get married".BUT NEVER HAS. It's driving me nuts because when I ask him why he hasn't, he just says okay I will now and has never given an explanation of why he hasn't. He drives me crazy...he's even picked the date and that has come and gone so many time. what do I do now?
Good Morning,

It sounds like you two have a great relationship. If he is the one who says "should get married" he may not be able to do this on his own, that is, the ring etc. He really has proposed already, just not down on one knee. If you want to see this happen then you may have to be part and parcel of the formality of a proposal and TAKE him to go pick out a ring. He is frozen when it comes to this part of the "deal", don't try to figure out why he can't follow through because he doesn't know himself.
If you want to get married you are going to have to take on being the main "doer:..he'll do it, but needs you to get him to actually start the ball rolling.
At 47 years of age getting married for the first time you would think it's a committment issue but it's not since the two of you have been together for over 9 years. It's something that he wants too.
I wish you could have the desired proposal, ring and all that goes with it but in my experience as a therapist with guys like this, if you want to get married you can't wait for them to get around to it.
So go for it, it's quirky I know but you can have fun with it and get married!
I hope this helps.
Dr. Keane
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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
i just wanted to let you know that i took your advice and he said yes without hesitation or blink of an eye and then officially proposed to me. we plan on getting married on christmas eve when my children come to visit. he said i can plan whatever i want the only things he asks for are a quick ceremony and mexican food! thank you so much!!!
Well congratulations!!! Sometimes they just need a little "push" and you did it! I like the Mexican food idea!!! I wish you both the happiness you deserve!!!!
Have a wonderful wedding!!!
Dr. Keane
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