I can not tell you what to do, only you can decide.....but I can tell you that the choices you have made have gotten you to a cross roads where you must make a decision and go with it. It sounds like your husband loves you, and is a good man you admit as much in your post above. But being a good man and loving you isn't going to make your marriage work.
Marriage and relationships are about more then just sexual attraction and feelings. No relationship no matter how much you love someone or feel sexually attracted to them will work if you are not compatible with each other and willing to work on it.
The fact is this other guy may have your heart........but have you given your heart to the right person is the real question. He has cheated before on other women, he is going to have a hard time being a supportive partner if he has financial issues and your relationship has started off on shaky ground since your already married.
The reality is a relationship with him is going to take as much hard work, if not more then the work you would need to do to make your relationship work with your husband.
With that being said, if you have never felt much love or attraction for your husband then its going to be hard to get back what you had little of in the first place. While love is a big part of a relationship the reality is work makes up the bulk of what makes a relationship work. If your not willing to invest yourself into your marriage it will always fail. Of course its hard, he works 7 days a week......but if you really wanted to make it work you would be willing to find a way. The fact that you instead make the choice to find love with someone else makes me question wither you really loved your husband as you should have in the first place.
With that we have even more questions........
Are you investing your heart into the new guy simply because of what is lacking in your marriage?
Do you really love your husband like you love this new guy?
Have you ever loved your husband as much as you loved this new guy?
Are you willing to give the new guy up in order to give your marriage a real shot?
Those are all questions you need to sit down and think about. The reality is right now you are confused at which route you should take. How other people feel about this is of little consequences. While they may be mad at you, the reality is you must do what is best for you...........otherwise your going to resent your choice and feel like you were forced into it by other people. Then your end up in the same position again.
No one can tell you what is best for you...............
What I would suggest is taking some time for you. Maybe step away from both men for a few weeks so you can clear your head and give some real thought about what you really want and need in a partner. Consider what you need now, and what you need in the future. Then look at both men, and honestly review how those needs apply to both men.
Can your husband meet your needs now and in the future with work? If you told him what you wanted and needed would he be willing to do that?
What about your new friend, can he meet your needs now as well as in the future. Look at his past, look at who he is. Can he meet your needs......
Those are very good questions that need to be answered. While your new friend may be meeting your needs now, can he meet them in the future? And then your husband, if he is not meeting your needs are you interested in giving him the opportunity to try?
I know this can be very frustrating and even painful, but you need to make a choice based on your needs, instead of what everyone else wants or thinks is best.