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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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My daughter has been talking to a boy who she dated several

Customer Question

My daughter has been talking to a boy who she dated several years ago. They talk daily and he took her to dinner on Saturday. He at that time asked her to come to his town tonight because it was his birthday and to go out and celebrate. He has continued to talk to her everyday but made a commment that she is a little concerned about since she has a trust factor. he told her an old girlfriend told him she would make him pancakes on his birthday and he did not want her to take it the wrong way they were only friends. However, this has been bothering her. She got up this morning and on his Facebook it says what a way to start a birthday with yummy pancakes. She now says she is not going and is he lying to her. I told her he did tell her this and did not try to keep it from her but she says why if you do not still have feelings for her would you do this if he wants to move on/
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 8 years ago.
Hey Pam,

I'm going to agree with your daughter on this one. Remember that the point of dating is to get to know someone and build a trusting, respectful relationship. When you see red flags and don't heed their warning, its a setup for trouble down the road.

The pancakes nor the comment about them are innocent.

I think your daughter should trust her gut and move to safer ground or at least pull way back. This guy is flirting with a woman who is after amount of BS takes that truth away.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.



I do understand what you are saying an I do agree but my point is why did he seek her out again after a year and a half and invite her tonight if he doesn't still have an interest in her? You do not feel that the old girlfriend is in the past? supposedly she initiated all of this

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Also, my daughter is very negative when starting a new relationship with her history of being taken for granted. I just do not want her to pass up a good relationship for the wrong lessons. I cannot be neutral because she is my daughter and I have seen her hurt one to many times

Expert:  Anna replied 8 years ago.
Hi Pam,

If your daughter is negative or not, this guy isn't showing respect for her. Why did he seek her out? He may like her, but that doesn't mean he respects her. He may also like to watch women fight over him.

The old girfriend isn't in the past if she was making pancakes for him and he's posting it on facebook.