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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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Hello, I was raised in a very strict environment when I

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I was raised in a very strict environment when I was growing up and did not have sex before I was married. In fact sex was never discussed. I married at 36. That's a long time without sex. What I learned about sex was from books, or T.V. I was married for 15 years and then it became verbally abusive and then started to become physical, so we ended the marriage. Our sex life was not very good due to our constant fighting. Anyway now I am single again and my new boyfriend is now suggesting that during oral sex, I swallow his seman. I was horrified at the thought, but then went online and read a lot of answers to that question. I guess if he goes down on me and I enjoy it, I should take it to the next level and swallow his. But please tell me the logic to swallowing it. I mean I would think he would get more pleasure by putting his penis inside me, so why is it important that I swallow it? How does he get pleasure from that? It is really that big of a deal to a man?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 8 years ago.
Hey confused in ca,

You're asking a great question! In truth, the reason for a man asking you to swallow will be as individual as he is, and the only way to get HIS reason would be to talk about it with him and let him enjoy your curiosity as a sign of your desire to have a mutually enjoyable sex life. I would not consent if you're heart isn't in may be at some other time and you wouldn't want to ruin the magic by going there too soon for you.

In the meantime, let me list out some things other women and men have said to me. I'm not going to put any judgements on them.

I want to be inside of her all the way - I want to be in her bloodstream - I love that feeling.

I don't like how the motion changes when she switches to her hand

If she spits me out, she's spitting me out.

I don't care if she really's just the thought of it.

I would never do that, and I wouldn't ask her to....but if she wants to....

My penis is too sensitive to be in her mouth right after I she has to be very still for a little bit.

I want to do it to her because it makes me feel dominant. Same with anal sex. I want her to do it for me. I want her to push herself for me. I want her working hard for ME.

She takes all of me and all my love when she swallows. I'm completely accepted.

It feels good.

Also...I don't believe it's a good argument that because he goes down on you, you should swallow. They're different, and you are different from him. If he likes orange juice, does that mean that you have to also?

Thanks for letting me help. Please fill out the feedback form after helps me to help you and others.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Thanks Anna,


It helps to hear other people's opinions. I guess in truth it really is up to me. This is a whole new area for me really. Growing up I was told all of that stuff was a sin, so when I was married I enjoyed the oral sex on me, but was afraid to admit that I enjoyed it, so I was riddled with guilt most of the time. But over the years I have learned and researched things out, except for this area of "swallowing". That seems ridiculous to me, but if it makes my partner feel complete then I will do that. It may gross me out, but I am willing to explore this area. I also feel however, if it becomes repulsive to me and I can't do it, then he needs to be considerate of me as well.

Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
I think you've got the perfect attitude for a healthy sexuality, and you're being very sensible with good boundaries. What more can you ask for? Smile