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Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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Ive been with this girl for a little over 3 years and weve

Customer Question

I've been with this girl for a little over 3 years and we've been rather good still had the fire from when we first met. But it's slowly fading now it all started around late Dec 08 early 09 she sleeps all the time it's like she's in a coma or something she has lost a lot of her family and I know it was hard for but I was there for her every step of the way even when I felt like we were gonna break up or split up or something. But here's her symptoms:
always tired no matter what, comes in turns off lights and goes to sleep when she does wake up she's immdiately on Facebook for about 15 minutes and playing games on her phone. Even when we quote un-quote "spend time together which consists of spooning and her falling asleep.

she is always talking about how bad she looks when she is beautiful and I tell her constantly.

She never wants to go out and when she does it's to see some lame movie or some bar which I hate.

She works 2 jobs and goes to school. she's at school in the morning and a teacher's aide after school and then works a part time job.

I work 50 hours a week 6 days a week.

Now here are some possible causes she has lost both her parents and grandparents in recent months she lives with her elder relative who drinks all the time and both her parents died from it (liver problems) They are constantly fighting.

I still want to be with her she talks about marriage and moving in together and starting a life but it angers me because it's like she doesn't care enough to take the actions needed to fullfill our relationship what can I do?
Submitted: 8 years ago via HealthBoards.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 8 years ago.



It sounds like she is exhausted, 2 jobs and school is enough to cause exhaustion in anyone but with everything she has been though on top of that it sounds like she is getting worn down. Keep in mind working a lot of hours and going to school such as this is a lot to handle for anyone. Add the fact that she has recently lost family in recent months and the fact that she lives with someone who is drinking all the time it sounds like things are getting to be to much for her.


I also suspect she may be suffering from depression which is very serious. Sleeping more then normal, unhappy with her self etc is all symptoms of depression which is likely stemming from all the hours of work and school along with all the other problems she has undergone recently.


I know this can be quite frustrating when you are in a relationship, but right now she needs you to be strong and help her. I would suggest that you speak with her and let her know how worried you are about her. She really needs to set up a appointment with her doctor to go over her symptoms and begin seeking help. There are medications that can help her, and she may need to take some time off from work or consider working less hours until her schooling is over.


Right now she may want nothing more then to start a life with you, but it sounds like you are starting to resent where she is right now and the last thing she needs is to know how much this is upsetting you. Right now she needs support and help to go see her doctor and get herself back on track.