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Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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My now ex boyfriend and I had a blow-up of a conversation last

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My now ex boyfriend and I had a blow-up of a conversation last Sunday. I had been asking him a couple of days before last weekend and then last weeekend to please take me to see a movie I wanted to see. It was important for me to see it last weekend since my mom was going to have surgery (which she did this past week), and I would not be available for many dates for the next few weeks. He then told me that he did not have time. I then asked him why his facebook page listed his status as "single" instead of "in a relationship". He angrily blurted out that he was not married. I said "yes, but you could have put that you are in a relationship". He then said "the relationship is not progressing". I responded that the relationship has not progressed because you do not spend time with me. This is true as we go out only once every 5 weeks or so. He is ALWAYS there for his male friends, but he has not bothered to call to see how my mom is fairing after surgery. What gives?!


How long have you been seeing each other?


Are you broken up now?


If so who's idea was it?


Do you want to work this out?



Edited by Walter on 9/20/2009 at 1:05 PM EST
Customer: replied 7 years ago.



We have been dating for alomst one year and have been friends for 11 years. I do not know if we are broken up since we just altogether stopped talking to each other. Why should I initiate the call when he knows my mom is sick? I do not know if I want to work this out, but I do want an explanation for his behavior. The lame excuse he offered for not spending much quality time with me was being stressed and busy. My job is FAR more stressful than his. The last thing said was when I advised him that the relationship had not progressed because he did not give me the little time I asked for.



Making a relationship out of something that used to be a friendship for so long is difficult to say the least. Since your friendship was set at one level, he likely figures its ok for the relationship to follow the same pattern. Which isn't fair to you.


As for a explanation, while you can ask for one you likely will not get it. Men are typically pretty defensive when they end a relationship and more often then not will give no real reason, or a lame one such as what you received.


The reality is you need to sit down and decide what you want and need in a partner, and then consider wither he is what you really want and need. If you do not want to work this out then its time to move on.........the reality is you need someone who is going to be a part of your life and if he isn't interested in spending more time with you and being a part of your life then your going to have these problems.



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