Yes, these are his and my biological children. Ages 13 and almost 16.
There are no other children involved from previous marraiges.
Both boys do not like him because he doesn't act fatherly to either
of them. He is very self-centered. He doesn't like to do things like play
games with them, take them out for ice cream, throw a ball around at the
park.....things like that. My ex either doesn't know how to show feelings,
or doesn't have them. He acts like the kids are a drag on his own time.
I do not understand this at all. It started shortly after they were born. He
doesn't show any of us "unconditional" love. And he doesn't talk to us
except to complain.
Both boys say they do not want their father back in the house. I'm very
conflicted because I still feel like they need a father.
I started divorce proceedings about a year ago because the two
boys and myself could not take his behavior. He was angry and belittling us all
the time, and not showing any support or help. We were all very uncomfortable
around him. He didn't want to go to counseling. He got very involved with
internet porn and dating sites. This behavior was going on for years.
When I told him I was still interested in salvaging and healing our relationship,
and wanted to work on it with him,
he told me in his usual stone-faced way that he wasn't sure what he wanted,
or where he wanted to be a year from now.
Thank you for asking!