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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21417
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I am a female and I have two male friends. I sent them both

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I am a female and I have two male friends. I sent them both a text message at the same time. I am not in a relationship with either of them, but I do like guy number 1 much more than guy 2. After the message, guy 1 responded, but then stopped communicating with me. I asked guy 2 if he did anything to encourage that. He would not give me a direct answer. I am not a drama person and I am very honest. I want to continue talking to guy 1 who is not communicating with me, but I do not know how to explain to him that guyXXXXXout of line. I am so upset at guy 2 that he would do such a thing, that I want to end the frienship. My question is how do I proceed with guy 1? I sent a text, he did not respond, I called I got his voicemail. We were just getting to know each other and things were going great...
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi, and thanks for your question.

It would help me to know a few more details regarding your situation.

Why do you think Guy 2 did anything to adversely affect your friendship/relationship with Guy 1, and what do you think he did?

When you say he didn't give you a direct answer, did that leave you to believe he did have something to do with Guy 1 no longer communicating with you?

Did you confide anything to Guy 2 about liking Guy 1 in a more 'romantic' way? DO you want to pursue a romantic relationship with Guy 1?

Are they good friends and did they know each other before you met them, or did they meet through you? Do they communicate with each other, often?

Did you leave a message on Guy 1's voicemail, most recently, or hang up?

How long ago did you text both guys, and receive an answer from Guy 1, after which, the communication stopped?

Thanks for all your additional detail.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I should add that guy 2 orgininally said he did nothing at all. Last night, was when he began to back peddle about whether he did anything at all.

Guy 2 reacted suprised/upset about the text going to Guy 1 at the same time. I informed him that he is my friend too and there is no reason to be upset since there is not committment to either of them. Guy 2 has made reference to me being his fiance, which bothers me and I have asked him to stop saying it. What do I think he did? I think he may have said something along those lines to Guy 1.

When I asked if he said anything to Guy 1, he replied, "I did not talk to him." I repeatedly asked what DID you do? Did you leave a voicemail or text him? He would only say,"I did not talk to him."

Guy 2 and I had been intimate 2 months ago. Since then I have told him that is not what I want or need and he should move on if that is what he is looking for. Guy 1, I am VERY interested in and we have not been intimate.

Neither men know one another.

When I attempted to contact Guy 1, I left a voicemail requesting a callback last Saturday. I text on Tuesday saying,"Are you ok?" Guy 2 and I text last night. I still have not heard from Guy 1 since last Saturday.
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply.

I assume, by 'not knowing each other', you mean they've never met in person, but they do communicate through texts, email or phone, or else how could you assume Guy 2 said/did anything to prompt Guy 1 to not respond to your voicemail message?

From now on, don't discuss Guy 1 with Guy 2. You hurt his feelings when you told him you texted them both with the same message at the same time. Also, the fact that you have been intimate with Guy 2, and now do not want the relationship to progress in 'that' way, I'm sure is hurtful to him, so he most likely doesn't want to see anything progress with you and Guy 1.

Whether or not Guy 2 did anything or had anything to do with Guy 1 not responding to your last call, stop talking to him about this situation.

It's possible that Guy 1 is out of town, on vacation, or not receiving his voicemails for some reason.

If you have other ways to contact him, like email or a home phone, try that; if not, text or leave another voicemail, asking if he's alright and you were concerned about him because you didn't hear back from him since your phone message on Saturday.

Avoid talking to Guy 2 about this anymore. It's possible he is jealous and has tried to sabotage your relationship with the other guy, as you suspect; or there could be other circumstances related to Guy 1 not answering you.

I hope you hear back soon from the guy you like!

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