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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21449
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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my boyfriend of 2 and half years kissed someone behind my back

Customer Question

my boyfriend of 2 and half years kissed someone behind my back after a few drinks and everything was fine between he kept saying he loved me etc and we have a child together, i found out about it 2 days later and questioned him bout it he denyed things at 1st then said he did it and came home and didnt look me in eye and said hes not happy and dont now he he feels for me and it wont work 2days after that he acted normal with me and still gave me kisses on cheek, slept in bed etc then he moved into work as was looking after place for 3 weeks, he stopped txting and seeing son. 11days ater break up he started drinking and found this 34year old women who he sees at weekends, he kissed and groped her at his work in front of every1 noing there was this man that goes there that wud tell me everything, he told this man today randomly about this 34yr old and how she comes down to see him every weekend and usually hes very private person, i dont get why hes being so cold and mean 2 me and child
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello, and thanks for your question.

How long ago did this occur?

Is the girl he kissed behind your back, the same 34 year you spoke about, who he now seems to be involved with?

As of now, you are not in contact with him at all and he hasn't seen his son?

What is your question? What caused him to be so cold and mean to you and his child?

Thank you for any additional details,
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
we broke up on the 10th aug 2009. the girl he kissed behind my back wasnt the same person. he met this 34yr old 11 days after the split, they arent really involved he classes her as his lady friend, she works away and visits at weekends. no im trying not to contact him as its always me trying to get him to see his son, hes seen him twice maybe since we split and im currently living at his mothers which is where was was both living before the split. i mainly want to no how he can be so cold and not showing any signs of sadness that our relationship didnt end, theres no reason for him to be so cold as it was his choice to end things i also dont get why hes telling mutual friends about this women when usually hes a private person he isnt good for showing emotion. i understand he dont love me anymore but surley after a child and relationship that should mean something.
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply.

Considering the type of person you know him to be, it is very odd that he, all of a sudden does not want any communication with you or want to see his son more often.

Your relationship, if you felt it was destined to not work out, is one thing, but, he will always be a father and should see his son on a steady basis, unrelated to the relationship between the two of you.

Telling people about the other woman is most likely making him seem like a fool, and if he's usually a private person, you're right, there is no reasonable explanation as to why he would do this. Maybe he thinks it makes him seem like a 'big man' or more desirable, that he's having this 'affair' on the weekends.

Try to get his mother to speak to him regarding his responsibilities as a father, and not to neglect seeing his son. It must be odd for you to be living with his mother, but as long as she allows it, for the good of her grandson, that's good.

I wish you much good luck in the future and hope all works out well for you.