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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21445
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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When I came back from a 3 week trip, I found out from my boyfriends

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When I came back from a 3 week trip, I found out from my boyfriend's cellphone, texts from his exgirlfriend asking him to help him with a legal case. (he's a lawyer) My boyfriend answer, not to worry about the payment but he would like to see her instead. on another text for another woman he dated before, he was asking her when will she come back to ___. (i want to keep the name of the state) I ask him why is he texting them? He said his exgirlfriend emailed him and ask about a case and ask for his help. I told him if I can go with him when he meet his ex? He said yes and he will introduced me to her. Likewise,he told me that the text about the other girl is at his lowest point. He missed me. Does this all makes sense? Do I have anything to worry about?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi, and thanks for using Just Answer!

What you said does make sense and I think you need to keep a closer eye on your boyfriend. If he admitted that it was a 'moment of weakness' that he texted his other ex-girlfriend while you were away, because he missed you, he has the potential to 'stray' and not be faithful to you. Ask him why he didn't text or call YOU when he missed you, and you were away?

The fact that he's willing to take you along when he meets his other ex-girlfriend to help her with a legal issue, is good, and I'm glad you asked him to do that. If he would have said no, I don't want you to come, it *could* have been because it was all business or he could have not wanted you to come for other obvious reasons, so I'm glad you'll be accompanying him.

Tell him that if he ever misses you again, he should let you know and get in touch with you, not be 'tempted' by old girlfriends. Trust, in a relationship is key, as is open communication, so make sure these two components remain vital, within your relationship, so you don't have to doubt him.

I hope everything works out well for you.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

We chat and text once in a while while I was away. Later on my trip he callled but I was so busy too answer but I always make sure to text back and explain. I also called him while leaving on the airport.

We only see during weekends but remain in contact through my text in the morning and his calls at night everyday. I'm thinking that he still talks to them and maybe will sneak to see the other girl when she comes back in the "place". He admitted to me before that he have sex with this girl earlier in our relationship. I ask him before if he likes or loves the girl because I will give him space, but he said no. I'm confused, why he still want to text and call her and be interested about her activities up to this time. Also, the text to his exgirlfriend, is him begging to see her. He doesn't get mad if he catches me cheking his cellphone but tries to take it away and playfully keep it.

He would tease me that he will ran away with another girl always. I would just say those names I found from his cellphones and he will take his joke back.

I he thinking about going away with any of those girls? They said if he says it always he's thinking of doing it. Is there any reason why he's doing this? Should I really talk to him seriously? If yes, would you please suggest how I will approach this situation? hanks..

Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply.

This is a difficult situation, because you don't see each other all the time, and this leaves him time to be in contact with the other women. If he had sex with the other girl at the beginning of your relationship, you were very tolerant and patient to stay with him.

His behavior now, is of concern, because he teases you about running away with another woman, and makes like it's a joke, but one day if he does it, he'll say, 'See?? I warned you!' and not be kidding.

I really do think your should have a serious discussion with him and say something like this: I know you're always kidding and fooling around about running away with another woman, but seriously, you'll have to decide if you're with ME or NOT with me. I am a one man woman, and I thought we had an understanding that you were a one woman man. You can't keep in contact with your former girlfriends while you're seeing me. This makes me feel like you're not happy with me or I'm not 'enough' for you. You've never told me this in so many words before, so I assumed we were good and I had 'all' of you. Now, with your actions, I feel like I'm 'sharing' you, and I won't do that. Either we're 'exclusive' and 'together' and only see each other, or we're not together. Tell me what you want to do, now, because I won't tolerate you talking to other women and being flirtatious with them, right under my nose. If you want them, that means you don't want me, and I hope you make the best decision for yourself and for me."

Try that, if that's how you feel, and I hope things work out well for you.

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